[Teach me!! Ginpachi Sensei!]
Teach me!!
Ginpachi Sensei!
[Question Corner]
[Ginpachi Sakata]
Let's see... This question comes from Anonymous-san of Chiba prefecture.
In "Gin Tama," Hasegawa and Kondo are called "ossan."
But Gin-san and Hijikata, who are nearly the same age, aren't middle-aged.
[Ossan = a middle-aged man in Kansai dialect, but recently has become slang to mean the same thing]
So, just when do guys start being called an "ossan"?
Yes, let me answer that.
It's when the pillow you're using starts to smell like your father.
Hey, who's been using my pillow without my permission?! It smells like an "ossan."
That's what you smell like, idiot.
Everyone, please be careful of how your pillow smells.
And now on a totally unrelated note... Onishi! Keep standing!
[Odd Jobs Gin]
[A gift from Tatsuma Sakamoto to apologize for destroying Odd Jobs]
[Unkei & Kaikei, Delivery Carpenters from space]
With Gin-san losing his memory in an accident and
Sakamoto's spaceship destroying the Odd Jobs,
we were, in name and reality, all broken up.
Go!
You brought my wooden sword, right?
Huh? Oh... Yes.
Hey, Boss.
Sorry, but I'm handing in my resignation.
G-Gin-chan!!
And that was how Gin-san's memory was restored.
Although the other thing is still broken.
[Odd Jobs Gin]
Hey, Gin-san.
We're trying to fix Odd Jobs, right?
All I hear are the sounds of fingers and the house being destroyed.
Creation and destruction are two sides of the same coin, Shinpachi-kun.
Yeah, but when are we gonna flip the coin?
I knew it. This is hopeless. You should never let amateurs do carpentry.
You idiot! Professionals rip you off and do lousy work anyway.
At least they get something done, you idiot.
Can't help it. We don't have the money to hire a carpenter.
Or what? You want the old hag to kick us out?
Besides, if you call yourself an "Odd Jobs" man,
you should be able to fix something like this easily. Idiot...
Gin-chan, desperate times call for desperate measures!
No...wait...Kagura-chan.
Yeow, stop!!
I can't. This kid is rebelling!
You idiot! Stop that "Bold Shogun"!
Kagura-chan, we're gonna die! Seriously, we're gonna die!
The switch, the switch! Turn it off!
I can't! I've never dealt with a rebellious kid before!
If you don't know how to use it, then don't even try!
Take this!
Dammit!
What do you mean, dammit?!
Why are you trying to destroy me?
Don't worry.
People destroy their old selves so they can embark on a journey to find their new selves.
Embarking, my ass!
You were about to send me off to another world, you moron!
Kagura, don't move!
I got it, Gin-chan.
Okay, it stopped.
Case closed.
What do you mean, "case closed"?! This place looks worse than before.
Ding dong.
Excuse me, I have a delivery for you.
"Mistaking Someone's Name Is Rude!"
Dear Kintoki-kun, we haven't kept in touch for a while, but how are you doing?
I'm fine as usual, flying all over the universe.
Space is truly a great place.
The other day, I had an opportunity to stop by Earth so I went to visit you.
But sadly, we missed each other.
Actually, I'm writing because there was something I wanted to tell you...
Way back then, you said...
Hey, Ibaragi. I heard you went to a hostess club again. Next time, take me too.
That's what you said.
[IbaraKI]
But his name isn't Ibaragi! It's Ibaraki!
I thought, why bring it up now?
But it's just rude to get someone's name wrong.
Well, take care of yourself, Kintoki-kun.
[But it's just rude to get someone's name wrong, Kintoki. Well, take care of yourself, Kintoki-kun.]
From Tatsuma Sakamoto.
P.S. Sorry for destroying your house.
P.P.S...
Haven't you always wanted to use "P.S." every time you write a letter? (lol)
Who's laughing?
Jeez, the body of the letter and the "P.S." should be the other way around!
He destroys my house and all I get is a "P.S." apology?
Yeah, and he gets people's names wrong, too!
Even if P.S. means I wish for world peace, it's still unforgivable.
Birds of a feather flock together...
We don't flock together!
I hope he dies. I hope he suffers a slow painful death.
Take it easy, Gin-san.
The letter is just something extra.
What Sakamoto-san really wanted to send you is this, right?
What's in this box?
I bet he sent you a spectacular apology gift for what he did.
Oh yeah, now that I think about it, he is Mr. Richie Rich...
Money?
What's this now?
All right, all right. Well, why didn't you say so in the first place, you little rascal.
I tell you...
That guy is more...
We can finally fix up the house now...
...of a rascal than me.
Hello.
Thank you for calling Por-
Oh, this must be a dream. It's illogical. This can't be happening.
There were little old men in there. Little old men squished inside.
No, those were dolls, right? They're dolls. Let's take another look...
I'm telling you, it's a dream! Come on, that's enough, I gotta wake up now.
Hello.
Thank you for calling Por-
No way! It's a dream. A weird dream.
We're being tormented by hallucinations of tiny bald men.
All right, we're done here. Let's meet back after we wake up.
Okay.
Hang on there!!
You buttheads!
Listen till we're done talking, you morons!
We're supposed to say, "Thank you for using Portable Carpenters!" You idiots!
Portable Carpenters? I've never heard of such a thing.
I have no idea what that is, so go home.
How dare you talk to us like that!
We came all the way from a distant planet to fix your house!
By any chance, did Sakamoto-san ask you to come?
That's right! When we get a call, we go! No matter how far!
Unkei! And...
Kaikei!! We're the Portable Carpenters!
Don't you have anyone...taller?
This isn't an escort service.
You buttheads, what can you do looking like that?
I bet you can only make houses out of candy.
Oh, but then again, it's candy. That's not so bad...
Don't be shocked, but...
Do you know the mighty Terminal building, the symbol of Japan's might, which made Edo an international city?
That terminal... Inside there...
You know that cupboard for ladles in the kitchen?
We made those!
Even when you close the door, they don't come crashing down.
That's lame. I made a bookshelf out of milk cartons.
And it's environmentally friendly.
So? You think something like that is going to save the Earth?
Who cares about the Earth, it's more like we don't have money.
Yeah, we've got a tight household budget!
What the heck are you guys talking about?
It can't get any worse. Let's have them do it.
Besides, it looks like Sakamoto-san already paid them.
Do you know this saying?
It's something a carpenter named Mokichi once said...
"Craftsmen who talk a lot are never good."
A good craftsman hardly even knows how to use his mouth.
He lets his hands do the talking.
Which kind are you guys?
What's all that racket?
Is it them... Hm?
That punk burns me up!
[Odd Jobs Gin Otose Snack House]
We'll show him who the best carpenters in the universe are!
Who the heck are those guys?
A-Amazing.
They fixed everything in just a day...
Take a look. The interior's perfect too.
These are the skills of the best carpenters in the universe!
Awesome! They really are skilled carpenters.
Gin-san, isn't that terrific? We're back in business again.
Something's not right.
I don't remember Odd Jobs being this bleak.
It's not our fault you can't afford furniture!
We haven't touched the original structure.
No, no, no...
It's not that.
Something's missing. Um...
Oh, I know.
I thought it looked dreary...
The chandelier is gone!
Chandelier?
What do you mean, "chandelier"?
Wouldn't a chandelier look funny in a traditional Japanese interior?!
Come to think of it, did we have something like that?
I'm sure we did. You just never looked at the ceiling. You must've forgotten.
Now that you mention it, I remember there was one.
And, what happened to the stairs to the third floor?
The third floor?
We had that? I never heard about that!
Oh yeah, you guys may not know about it. It used to be above the dresser.
The third floor was for my JUMP collection.
Are you serious?
Also, my room looks weird. It wasn't this small.
Don't mess with me. The floor was enough for 30 Tatami mats.
[Note: Tatami mats are units to measure floor space.]
Thirty mats?
That closet was thirty mats?
That's bigger than the whole room!
Kagura, isn't that pushing it a bit much?
Okay, then I'll compromise at twenty mats.
I've never heard such an unreasonable compromise!
Also, the toilet. I'm pretty sure there was a shower toilet in there.
[Note: A shower toilet is a toilet that has a retracting shower head offering "rinse" and "bidet" functions.]
Also the bathroom wall was all glass. It had a more erotic feel to it.
Oh, I remember, too. And there was a karaoke machine in the living room.
Hang on there. We never even touched the living room! That should be the way it was.
Have you ever heard this story?
Long ago...
There were two carpenters who vied to be the most popular carpenters in Edo...
One was a millionaire's son, who was skilled and also well off. His name was Gohei.
The other was odd and boasted that as long as he could drive a nail, he'd never want for food-Mokichi.
Mokichi had no interest in worldly success, but Gohei was different.
Every day, Gohei schemed to get rid of Mokichi so that he could be the most popular in Edo.
Before long, Mokichi's reputation began to wane. Gohei was behind this.
He pulled in all his connections and stuck Mokichi with all the worst jobs.
Mokichi had all the impossible and difficult jobs forced on him,
and eventually, Mokichi was no longer able to find work.
Exactly as Gohei had planned.
Mokichi's popularity dwindled rapidly and Gohei's day had come...
Or so it seemed... But suddenly Mokichi's troubles just dissolved.
Several years later, Mokichi's popularity surpassed that of Gohei's and
he was indisputably the top carpenter in Edo.
You probably want to know why.
Gohei wanted to know, too.
You bastard, what kind of dirty trick did you pull?
Weren't you getting forced to do all the impossible jobs?
Mokichi replied...
You're right.
And it was difficult work, but it taught me more than I've ever known about carpentry.
I sure am grateful it happened.
Mokichi's the bomb!
Mokichi probably didn't realize he was being tricked.
He loved carpentry so much that he welcomed the challenge!
Isn't that what it means to be a craftsman?
Dammit!
That punk burns me up!
Brother!! No matter how you look at it,
they're playing us!
Like marionettes on a string!
I know! I know, but I can't stop. He's got my carpenter's blood heated up!
Brother! Me, too! What is this feeling?
Was this how Mokichi felt?
Mokichi!!
Who's Mokichi?
How's that? You son of a bitch!
You've got no complaints now!
Witness the work of the greatest carpenters in the universe!
Wow! That's amazing. They even made a third floor, too.
My room hasn't changed at all! What's the meaning of this?
Wow, you two are pretty good.
All right, then!
We'll be going now.
Hey, what about my room?
Well, there's still the outside.
Outside?
O-Outside? We already did the outside!
Yeah, you didn't say anything about that before!
Hey, what about my room? Don't ignore me!
No, but there's still something missing... The Odd Jobs was more...
More like this...
Hey, that is beyond missing something!
That's totally different.
That's the Parthenon.
That's right. Like the "Parthemom."
You showed us that without even knowing what the Parthenon is?!
That's lame!
It looked like this! This one!
That's the Castle in the Sky!
[Note: "Castle in the Sky" is a popular anime film by Hayao Miyazaki.]
That would be a trademark violation!!
This is pointless. We're leaving!
All right.
Okay, fine. You can leave it as is. Just make it fly.
Make it so it flies when you push a button, you buttheads.
That's the biggest problem!
In what world have you ever seen a house that flies when you push a button?
Generally speaking, in the world of animation, when you push a button, things work out somehow.
That's right. All you do is just push a button for everything.
I'm getting tired of this.
Really, we're leaving...
Hey, did you ever hear this story...?
Dammit!!
That young punk's so annoying!
We already used up all the money that Sakamoto guy gave us a long time ago!!
But still... What a shock that Mokichi had such a secret in his past!
Yeah, who can say no after hearing that!
Kaikei! That must mean we have the same heart as Mokichi.
You think so, Brother? We're the same as him?
Mokichi!!
Like I was saying, who is Mokichi?
Brother...it's already morning... Just a little bit more...
Brother?
Let's take a break. I'll go get us some coffee.
You can't do good work by pushing yourself too hard.
Speed isn't everything.
But...
I'm sure Mokichi had a coffee or two
as he took pleasure in watching his work being completed.
While working, you reflect upon...
...the joy your work gives you.
Isn't that what being a craftsman is all about?
Brother! I just got goosebumps when I heard that!
Kaikei! We have but one goal!
Mokichi!!
So who is this Mokichi?
Mokichi? He doesn't exist.
I just made him up.
Are you serious?
Those two are so easy to fool.
But...if they ever find out, they'll be really mad.
I think it's best if we keep it to ourselves.
Don't worry about it.
They're stupid enough to seriously buy into that story.
I'm sure they won't figure it out...
You asshole! It was all a lie?! Shit...
Hey, wait...
What?! Are you serious, Brother?
You're saying Mokichi never existed?
That's right.
That's why we're leaving, Kaikei!
Our job is done here.
B-But, Brother!!
Gin-san...
Humph... Like I would ever come back to this planet again!
But Brother... Was it okay to just leave in the middle of a job?
Who cares? We worked hard for them and they toyed with our emotions.
They should be thankful.
Oh yeah?
You...!
You got some nerve showing your face in front of us.
Come on, don't say that... There must be some misunderstanding.
What?
Whether or not Mokichi existed is not the point.
That's totally irrelevant.
What?!
What are you talking about?
The real Mokichi...
...lives inside the souls of craftsmen like you guys...
Your faces already look like the face of Mokichi...
Y...You...
Have you ever heard this story?
I get it! I get it now!!
Who knew there was such a mystery hidden behind the story of Mokichi.
Mokichi, you're the best!
Who can say no after hearing that?!
Kaikei! I don't understand! Did Mokichi really exist or not?
It doesn't matter, Brother. It's all in our souls.
Whether he actually existed or not, Mokichi lives inside of us!
All right, Kaikei! Let's do this.
Let's give it our all!
Brother! Let's show them that we are the best carpenters in the universe!
No! The second best! For the best must be...
Mokichi!!
Like I said, who the heck is this Mokichi?
[Note: This is a parody of the Japanese show where celebrities visit various interesting sites around Japan]
[Atsunosuke Watanabe's Building Report]
[Tsuruya]
Good morning. I'm Atsunosuke Watanabe.
Today, here in Kabukicho, Edo's business and shopping district,
we will be visiting the home of Gintoki Sakata who runs Odd Jobs.
Oh, this must be his house.
Today's building, the Sakata residence,
was recently renovated by two Amanto architect brothers, Unkei and Kaikei,
The exterior is reminiscent of the Greek Parthenon
and it is combined with a gorgeous palace section. I will now guide you through the Sakata residence.
Let's talk to the master of the house, Sakata-san.
Hello...? Hmm...the doorbell is...
Uh, let's see...
Is this it? Just push the button...
I can feel a vibration...as profound as the exterior of the house.
What a wonderful house. It flies!
Somebody...go get Mokichi...
[Preview]
Uh...what is wrong with me?
To have feelings for a girl other than Otsu-chan.
Cat ears... Cat ears are...
Super cute!!
The next episode: "Love Doesn't Require a Manual."
[The girl's name is "Eromesu." A beautiful girl with cute cat ears.]
[Note: Eromesu is a pun on Hermes, the Greek god.]
[Shinpachi has no experience in love and seeks help through the internet.]
[[Gin Tama, wouldn't it be fun to have a game like this? Or something like it?]
Gintama, wouldn't it be fun to have a game like this? Or something like it?
[What? Don't look at me.]
It's a Seaman-type game where you talk to an unemployed middle-aged man
[Note: Seaman is a virtual pet video game where you feed and care for "Seaman," a form of freshwater fish with a human like face, like a Sea Monkey.]
who is a DORK so you can help him get a job.
Basically, even if you start a conversation, the DORK (Dumb Old Retarded Kook) will ignore you.
That's because he already has his hands full with his own life.
He'll get depressed sometimes.
You may want to give him encouragement, but you must not talk to him.
You must never say to him "try your best."
Because he is already trying his best.
Sometimes, he'll try to play with a rope hanging from the ceiling.
When that happens, push the B button repeatedly to cut the rope.
Sometimes, he may just stare at the string hanging from the light and say "move...move."
[Butsu butsu]
When that happens, push the B button repeatedly as well.
[Good evening, I'm Betty.]
Sometimes, a strange woman may pay him a visit.
When that happens, shout "change" in a loud voice.
[Brain-rotting game DORK]
In the end, all you can say is "change."